What are you trying to say?

Okay so, I've been having weird dreams lately. Well, it's not lately. I've always had weird dreams, but it's been very frequent. Extremely frequent, like every night? But the thing is, I also talk to Lanny every night. It's not that it's a bad thing, I LOVE talking to him. It's just.. I know it's bad. I need to sleep early and focus on school, but I can't resist not talking to him. And the dreams .. I don't know what they're saying. One of my dreams had Mis in it.. and it was very awkward. I've learned a lot about Lanny ... but I feel like he'll become bored of me. I don't know how to explain it? He told me about girls he's liked, and then finding out that they're not what he expected them to be. So, what if I'm not what he expects from me? What does he expect from me anyways? What if he has high expectations? Yeah. I don't know what to do. Also, I know something about him that I shouldn't know, and I was told to keep it a secret. But lately, it's been bothering me. Honestly...it's hard to like someone who doesn't know the direction of their life. Or what is going to happen in the next two months. I know I have this.. ability to make people feel special. I know it. People have told me about how I am able to make someone extremely happy, to the point that they'd want to stay around me and become attached just to continue that happiness. However, once I stop whatever I do, it makes them feel miserable. I don't know what I am doing.. how to use it .. and I certainly don't want people feeling miserable. I don't know what to do.

-Sh.