Can you not?

So remember Lanny? I talk to him a lot more now. Kind of? I don't think I have a crush on him. I might find him attractive, but not a crush? Why? Guys who tell everyone everything is just stupid. I mean, it's okay for small things, but man, keep some things to yourself. I can't help but think he's been trying to spread rumors about me. Moving on...
Sam has been complaining about his family. It's "dysfunctional." Well look, you're not the only one. My family is pretty bad too, but you don't hear me complaining to you. I know that people have different ways of venting, but when you make it seem like you're the only person with that type of issue, it's just like.. Can you not? It irritates me like no other.
I hate how everyone in my family always suspects me of talking to friends or something rather than schoolwork. It makes me have to sneak just to talk to someone. ISN'T THAT STUPID?! I think that I should be able to talk to who ever I want to without having to worry about anyone of my family members watching to see if I am doing homework. I mean, I don't even talk anymore, however they seem to catch me when I'm asking my classmates a question. Like, a serious honest question, and they go ballistic. I don't even know anymore. I don't want to deal with them sometimes.
I'm trying to stop talking to Lanny, but it's hard. Like the saying "Don't make someone a priority if to them you're just a choice." But sometimes, he makes it seem like he really wants to talk to me, other times I feel like I'm just... there. Like, why am I talking to you?

I kind of wish people in the world would hide their depression, sadness, and worry. I mean.. I do it. So why can't they? If you knew me in real life, you would not believe that I wrote this bs.

-Sh.

I just realized, I already posted about the guy once. Lanny....

Oh my freaking no.

I absolutely hate it when people tell me stuff like.. OMG, I have a boyfriend, but I have a crush on this guy. Or "I have a crush on 2 guys at the same time!" I'd just roll my eyes and be like well then choose one and move on with your life. The thing is, I think I'm starting to experience it. I don't know what to do, and it's so hard. I am still dating Mis, but lately I've noticed this other guy more and more and I don't know what to do. I obviously like Mis a lot more, but I don't want to have a solid absolute crush on the other guy. WHAT DO I DO?! Only one person knows about this because I am afraid of telling anyone else. I'm going to cry or something. & I think the other guy has or had a crush on me, but then I completely ruined it. Help help, let me make the right decision por favor.
-Sh.

I met a guy named Lanny recently. It's kind of weird around him because he sends me mixed messages. Sometimes he acts as though he's crushing on me or something. Other times, he completely ignores me. Lanny is actually pretty okay looking, however there is no way I could have a crush on him. At least I am hoping I won't. I have more self control than that, right? However either way, this is dangerous and bad. I have a feeling trouble is coming at me and I need to get ready. Please don't let me make a mistake.
-Sh.

Sam is pushing me away or something. EFF EFF EFF. I'm so sad, I'm going to like cry. I hate how this always happens, I'm like cursed or something. It hurts a lot, watching him be happy with his newer friends, but neglecting me. I mean, I'm glad he's happy at times, but I guess I wish he's consider me even just a little. Mis heard me as a .. bad person the other day because he just happened to be there while I was yelling at my sister. See, my sister was smirking at me because my mom was talking about how she should have taken me to the US and then left me here while she went back to her home country. I yelled at my sister, telling her that if my mom did that, she wouldn't even exist right now. Yeah, I'm horrible, but I can't help it. Sometimes, I just hate my mom sooo much. Yeah, I'm going to go shower now. I'm not going to let this one away so easy, but I'm tired of doing what I have to do because it doesn't even work. I feel like a bystander who's getting affected, but can't do anything about it.

-Sh.